I’m only 13 but I already have a very strong personality. When I have an idea, I’ll try to make it happen, and I’ll lead a group to get it done. But the group I ask to work with me doesn’t always have the same motivation.
The worst feeling in the world is when somebody shoots down an idea you were really excited about, especially if they’d fed into your excitement and helped kick start it, then suddenly back out with an excuse. It makes you feel like they’re rejecting you in particular and not the idea sometimes. It makes you feel like, maybe you were a little too excited about that idea. It can make you feel like you never want to put an idea out there ever again.
It’s a little bit like having your heart crushed. Once it happens, you’re scared. Kind of a, ‘once bitten, twice shy’ kind of thing. Now, this isn’t very healthy, and I’m learning that. I have trust issues with people sometimes. For example, if there is a group project, I will volunteer to do almost all of it, because I trust myself way more than anyone else. I know that if I set my mind to it, whatever “it” is, will get done. But other people aren’t always like that. There have been too many instances in which people have flaked out on me. People I really thought I could trust. Heck, even some of my closest friends have bailed out on me with things for various reasons.
All I know is, I have to get my ideas out there no matter what. One of these days I’m going to have an idea that almost everybody shoots down, and they’re going to have to watch me change the world with that idea, the one that nobody thought would go anywhere. Then maybe they’ll wish they had been more reliable.
And one of these days, I’m going to be able to trust somebody other than myself.
It didn’t turn out so well in the end for A dot Ham, I know. Thankfully dueling is no longer an acceptable way to work out our differences.