I’m not a morning-friendly mommy

The ugliest sound in the world to me is whatever wakes me up in the morning. It doesn’t matter if it’s a cell phone ring tone of Pavarrati’s beautiful voice singing Ave Maria or Fran Drescher’s whiny voice. It is the main cause of my cranky mood for disrupting my slumber, a nasty state I am in for approximately 1-2 hours while I transform out of being an Ogre and back into being human again.

In other words, I am not a morning person.

Because of this, mornings are not a good time at my house. Especially weekday mornings. But unfortunately, my family can’t avoid me since we live together.

Margaret often does things that make my morning crankiness worse. So, I’ve created 20 tips to help my 12-year old make me less morning-unfriendly.

  1. Don’t talk to me.
  2. You can talk to other family members but if you must, do it softly and for heaven’s sake, do not whine.
  3. Don’t complain. About anything.
  4. Don’t take a 20-minute shower.
  5. Don’t tell your sister what to do instead of getting ready.
  6. Don’t argue with your dad.
  7. If you aren’t 100% ready to walk out the door (meaning you’ve taken a shower, made your bed, eaten breakfast, made your lunch, brushed your teeth, gotten dressed, put your shoes on, fed the cats), don’t start texting someone or watching YouTube or staring at yourself in the mirror. Just stand by the front door quietly and patiently.
  8. Listen to me the first time so I don’t have to repeat myself.
  9. Don’t roll your eyes at me.
  10. Don’t get mad at me when I forget something as we’re pulling away and have to run back to the house to get it while you sit in the car.
  11. Don’t ask if you can change the station from talk radio to a music station. (Same applies to a song you don’t like.)
  12. Listen to the segment on NPR. You just might learn something.
  13. Don’t ask me to stop singing or tell me that I’ve got the lyrics wrong even though I probably do.
  14. Don’t nudge me while I’m driving.
  15. Don’t tell me you can’t send your father a text on my behalf when I’m driving because you get carsick when you’ve been texting your friends the entire car ride on your own phone
  16. Don’t text your friends while I’m driving.
  17. Don’t argue with me when I ramble on about something I need to get off my chest just because you’re bored with the topic.
  18. Don’t be overly dramatic. About anything.
  19. Don’t beg me to bring you that item you desperately need for your musical theater dance class but you forgot at home.
  20. Let me hug you tightly before you get out of the car even though you are mad at me. You never know what can happen during the day and God forbid something does, I want you to remember how much I love you.not-a-morning-person

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