My mom and I both hate it when people decorate early. Especially Costco. Dang you, Costco. This is the conversation my mom & I had about it last night.
Mom: “Margaret, what do you like most about Thanksgiving?”
Margaret: “I like the sleigh bells glistening in the Costco aisles.” *sighs*
Mom: “That’s something we didn’t have when I was growing up.”
Margaret: “You didn’t have sleigh bells glistening?”
Mom: “Sleigh bells yes. Costco no. But we didn’t have sleigh bells before Thanksgiving. Christmas decor before Thanksgiving makes me angry.”
Margaret: “Hey, but isn’t it great to walk down the Thanksgiving aisle in a department store before Halloween and find a bunch of cheeky little snowmen laughing at you?”
Mom: “I wish it made my heart flutter like butterflies. Instead, it makes me angry.”
Margaret: “Why would you get angry about early Christmas decor? I only get angry when they fire the turkeys to make way for the snowmen. I mean, what did those little turkeys ever do to you?! We already EAT their RELATIVES!!!”
Mom: “Wait, are you saying you don’t like the taste of snowmen?”
Margaret: *teenager eye roll* “Gotta love all that plastic snow in your mouth.”
Mom: “Plus it’s probably not gluten free. Still, I get angry.”
Margaret: “Why do you get angry?”
Mom: “OHHHHHH…well. This sums up how I feel.”
(Mom breaks out into a parody of Let it Snow. And yes, we made up these lyrics to summarize her feelings on the topic:)
Oh it’s not even time for turkey
And I admit, it’s kinda quirky
But before you go and tie that bow
Stop the snow! Stop the snow! Stop the snow!
It doesn’t show signs of stopping
So everyone’s online shopping
I hate to just go with the flow
Stop the snow, stop the snow, stop the snow!
When it’s finally time to eat
Thanksgiving turkey deep fried in the street
We’ve already skipped the reason
For the grateful part of the season
The radio’s been playing carols
As I dream of shooting arrows
At the people who’ve caused my woe
Stop the snow stop the snow stop the snow!